Lost Little Lamb

I think that’s what I should have called my blog. That’s what I feel like lately. Confused, overwhelmed, and just waiting to be devoured by a sharp toothed predator that smells my vulnerable naivete from miles away.

I think of myself as a writer. It has become how I identify myself and I do it with pride and a smile and a genuine sense of finding my own little niche in the world…

…and yet I don’t feel like I have earned that title.

Somewhere along the journey of self realization I decided that writers are brilliant, creative majestic beings that I could never compete with on an intellectual or professional scale.

I’ve now learned that there is a vast sea of dreamers hacking away at keyboards all chasing the same dream I have been after. Literally thousands of people who want the same thing I do. I can hear Tyler Durden screaming in the grungy corners of my psyche: “You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.”

And I get discouraged without even taking that leap into the shark pool. I am the zen master of self fulfilled prophecies because I am downright terrified into submission and forget to even try.

I want to lock away all the grotesque knowledge of reality I have acquired and guard it with an acid spitting dragon.

Then maybe I can go back to my sandbox and build beautiful castles with my imaginary friends again.

2 thoughts on “Lost Little Lamb”

  1. True, “Lost Little Lamb” is a nice blog name, however “Disco Lemonade” possesses a character which may better suit your longer-term blogging pursuits. The Lost Little Lamb feeling is hopefully merely a passing phase. Sure, it may recur from time to time, however let it be transient.

    You are an awesome snowflake, actually far more than that. Let the acid spitting dragon guard all that appears grotesque and distracting. We each have our own naive and experienced facets.

    Build your beautiful castles. Share your conversations of architecture and of your imaginary friends with the ocean and the sky. We are listening.

    Here are a few quotes that I just posted on my “other” blog on which I normally just post poetry.

    http://bwer432.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/our-deepest-fear/

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